By Shanale Ward
Let’s face it; social media is addictive, deceiving and just about unavoidable. While scrolling through Facebook at a doctors office, out of about twelve people, I noticed that everyone in the waiting room gave their undivided attention to some type of mobile device. Not to assume that they were all logged on to social media, but I did ,however, notice the guy sitting next to me was also. Among all the social networking sites, Facebook is the most used with over 750 million views worldwide. People crop, prop, edit and go to the extremes just to see how many people will hit the “like” button. Much more serious than that, not receiving the desired attention can have a person questioning their own worth, identity and character.
Essena O’neill, a model discovered through her post, has recently announced that she is quitting social media, and she has received an outburst of criticism for it. O’neill stated in a desperate cry for understanding “At twelve, I told myself I would be of value the more views I got on You Tube. I looked at girls that had heaps of views and thought- damn I want that.” She went on to say “The only time I felt better about myself, really, was the more followers, the more likes, the more praise, and the more reviews I got online.”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1Qyks8QEM
This young lady defined herself by the opinion and validation of others, and I must say that I am guilty likewise myself. From the very first time I posted a photo, or an opinion, or even personal things pertaining to my life, and received many “likes” because of it, I wanted more. After a year or more of this behavior my post became more and more generic. I purposely took pictures a certain way, and I would sometimes meditate all night of something catchy to say. Psychologically, it began to get so bad that I could care less about the post itself but only the number of “likes” it received. As a Christian woman, to get sucked into this mind frame was just shameful. I thought because I was diligent to only post positive things that no negativity could come from it, and then there was the wake-up call.
Positive or not, everyone is not going to like you. Some people don’t feel good about themselves and therefore reflect constant negativity toward others. In a Psychology Today article, published by Psychological Science, researchers Amanda Forrest and Joanne Wood concluded in their study of social media that people with low self-esteem tend to criticize their friends with negative details of their lives. Ultimately, making them less likable as “friends”.https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201203/is-facebook-good-or-bad-your-self-esteem
I experienced this criticism personally. Although I gained the “likes” of many, dislikes came right along with them. Facebook does not have a button for dislikes, but I could sense through subliminal messages and indirect statements those who seemed to dislike me. Or, maybe it was me just assuming that. Maybe it was all in my own head, but the real issue is why give social media that much power in the first place? I believe this comes from a little too much self glorification and the expectation for others to agree, which can be disappointing.
Some, however, argue that Facebook and social sites can have an inspirational and encouraging impact on a person’s view of self. Jeffrey Hancock, a professor of communications at Cornell University and author of a study on Facebook’s psychological effects, argues that Facebook boost a person’s self-esteem. He states ” Unlike a mirror, which reminds us of who we are and may have a negative effect on self esteem if that image doesn’t match with our idea, Facebook can show a positive version of ourselves.” He goes on to say “We’re not saying that it’s a deceptive version of self, but it’s a positive one.
By no means does this type of effect of social media apply to everyone, Some people strictly use social media for business purposes and other things. It is a great way to promote an event, products for sale, or simply keep in touch with long distance family, but it does, however, negatively effect many people who get too carried away with getting the “likes” and attention of others.
I agree, Facebook is addicting, but only in the beginning for me. When it first came out it was awesome. I could find my long lost friends from back on the west coast that I haven’t heard from in years. Now I only use it to keep connected with my family whom also live on the west coast who I rarely see. The only time I post is to share pictures of my son or dog- yes my dog is also my son. Facebook became so annoying that I deleted nearly 75% of my friends. I guess I was getting sick of the “drama” so-to-speak, or didn’t want to hear about every aspect about everyone’s day. I understand how social media sites such as Facebook can have an impact on one’s self-esteem, especially a woman or child-someone who is emotionally vulnerable to begin with. I have enough to deal with in real live then to let a couple of “likes,” or rather, lack there of slow me down.
I believe that facebook does do these things to people as you stated above. I once had facebook and it came down to how many likes I could get. I would start to delete my posts if I did not get many likes. It soon effected my life for the worse as well. That is when I knew I had to delete it. Once I deleted it I felt good. I do not miss it at all, it was all drama. Yeah it was nice to see how my family was doing and what they were up to but then I realized I should just call them. I also noticed that it was convient to others for me to have a facebook, when I did have one all of my aunts and uncles remembered my birthday. This was only because they got a reminder on facebook now that I do not have one my aunts and uncles do not call me on my birthday nor do they send me a text. This is saying alot on their part. People rely on facebook, social media period too much. It upsets me on how much people rely on social media. There are kids that know how to mess around on facebook, instagram, twitter, etc. more than I know as an adult.
social media is a huge topic! I have to admit I am into all the different social media websites including facebook an man are they addicting and they really can change people. its truly changed me when I first got into facebook and all the different social media sites I was doing it to keep in touch with friends all over the country then in turned into how many friends or followers I can get. on top of that it has turned into how many likes or reposts I can get and its hard knowing that it has come to this but yet it is to hard to turn it off. and it is true that there are some people who only use their social media for business but even then they start to get caught up in the other nonsense
Social media is a good topic to write on because a majority of today’s society is immersed in either Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, or maybe even all three. I have just about every social media account known to man, and yes, social media can become very addicting if the user is not careful. Just like anything else though, social media can be a good thing if it is used in moderation. Social media like Facebook and Twitter is also used to get community, national and world news or updates out to the public faster. Yes, social media can change people if they let the accounts take over their lives and if they become too consumed with however many “likes” or “retweets” they deem as good enough. Many people are consumed with social media and that is where the major problem lies. I think a majority of people would benefit greatly if they took a step back and really focused on more important things in life instead of being hooked into social media during all times of the day. I will be the first one to admit, I was addicted to social media. Over the past year I strived to make changes in my life to be sure I got away from my social media addiction. I now realize that family and school are far more important than trying to be the popular kid or trying to think of the most clever post to see how many likes or retweets I can get. Social media is more enjoyable when it is used in moderation and not being obsessed over.
I think writing about social media was a good topic. But I like that you narrowed it down to mainly the use of Facebook. I also thought that your title for this blog post was very fitting. I also find myself on Facebook a lot, paying attention to what others post and also posting things myself. Facebook consumed my time and I actually deactivated it a few months ago. Then, I could only go one month because I wanted to post pictures of recent trips I had been on so my family and friend could see it. Although I see what you are saying about the “likes,” I also think Facebook could be a good thing. I have many family and friends on there that I often do not get to see. I think Facebook is a good way to keep in touch, especially if some of my family members are not as tech savvy and do not know how to text me a picture, but can post it to Facebook instead. It can be a way to get good attention, also. It could allow someone to get comments on their looks or skills (photography, art, etc). I know that if I post a picture of myself I have family members always commenting on them saying things like they like my smile or things like that. It is a confidence boost. And I also agree that Facebook is a great way to promote a business. But it could also make a business look bad by having people post negative comments to their page.
I think writing about social media was a good topic. But I like that you narrowed it down to mainly the use of Facebook. I also thought that your title for this blog post was very fitting. I also find myself on Facebook a lot, paying attention to what others post and also posting things myself. Facebook consumed my time and I actually deactivated it a few months ago. Then, I could only go one month because I wanted to post pictures of recent trips I had been on so my family and friend could see it. Although I see what you are saying about the “likes,” I also think Facebook could be a good thing. I have many family and friends on there that I often do not get to see. I think Facebook is a good way to keep in touch, especially if some of my family members are not as tech savvy and do not know how to text me a picture, but can post it to Facebook instead. It can be a way to get good attention, also. It could allow someone to get comments on their looks or skills (photography, art, etc). I know that if I post a picture of myself I have family members always commenting on them saying things like they like my smile or things like that. It is a confidence boost. And I also agree that Facebook is a great way to promote a business. But it could also make a business look bad by having people post negative comments to their page.
I remember when I first signed up for Facebook. I only wanted to do it because everyone else had one. I mostly only played games. Let me tell you I as 12 at the time. I try not to feed into the crap everyone has turned Facebook as well as all social media into. Now I just look at other peoples post, and I share different things on Facebook. I connect with friends and family who I don’t get to see very often. It can be very rewarding to be apart of social media but it can also be very annoying and distracting. If we don’t use it the right way it can take up all of our time and consume us. Then we will forget what it important. We have to be careful with the way we use social media.